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“The bent of my heart to preach Christ continued all along… as I had opportunity: but for a considerable time I met with many rubs in my way.”

Feeling useless

The sixth period of Boston’s life covers the year 1699. Boston was twenty-three years old and he had returned to his hometown of Dunse, having been called there for  a family matter on which he does not elaborate. For the first month, he did not go more than a mile from home, and he soon had a heavy feeling of uselessness. He begged God for “an opportunity to serve Him, whatever pains it should cost me to accomplish it.”

Sometimes, God in His providence would have us stay in a situation in which we do not wish to be. Yet, trusting Him, we are to serve Him in that station. Learn to serve God where you are today and not where you wish you were. Boston was able to preach at his local congregation at Dunse and also Langton.

It grieved Boston, who had been away from his hometown for some time, to see that most of his friends had no true knowledge of Christ. Yet, his eldest brother Andrew, was truly an elder brother in the Lord to him. Andrew was wise, had true “experience in religion.” He often refreshed Boston.

A call from Simprin and tearing up the letter

Later that year, Boston’s situation changed when he was asked by a church to be their pastor. The place was the small village of Simprin (alt. “Simprim”), nearly fifty miles southeast of Edinburgh. Although it was not a smooth process, Boston was to pastor God’s people in that small community for eight precious years.

The idea of settling in Simprin was first proposed in May 1699. Boston was in a position to be able to support himself, in part, because his father gave “his interest in Dunse to him.” Then, in early June 1699, a letter was written suggesting that he would be a suitable minister for Simprin, but it was first given to Boston to approve of, before he was to send it on to the elders at Simprin. Boston, however, tore the letter to pieces. He did not wish to be seen as putting forward his case. If God was to settle him in Simprin, then it would be through His providence, and not through any pushing on Boston’s part.

Using the Lord’s Day evening well

Preaching God’s Word is no security against Satan’s attack, but on the contrary, it may open up a new avenue for the enemy. Boston had a tender conscience, and he knew great spiritual highs, but he also felt the depths of his indifference, sin and unbelief more sharply than most believers.

So it was that he, to his horror, realised that three times he had preached against certain sins, and then himself fell into them! The first was laziness, which “quickly after I fell into this.” The second was “unwatchfulness“ and that same night “my heart fell a-roving.” The third was discontentment, “and immediately after this, dissatisfaction seized me.”

            Having realised “Satan has overcome me,” Boston said, “I resolved, in the Lord’s strength, from henceforth” to make his morning’s sermons the subject of his meditations each Lord’s Day evening. In this way, he would close the day by thinking about whatever he had fed his congregation earlier in the day.

Follow Boston’s example by making the most of God’s Word to us each Lord’s Day evening.

Insufficient, yet in bonds to preach

Boston admitted: “the bent of my heart to preach Christ continued all along … but for a considerable time I met with many rubs in my way.” One of these difficulties was that he felt spiritually dry for a time, especially in his preaching. He was asked to preach the week-day sermon by Mr Colden, but he admitted that “preaching was become another kind of a task to me, than sometime it had been; that I was discouraged… arguing my ignorance of Christ… that my very body was affected, and my legs began to tremble beneath me.” A friend said that it was a temptation to drive Boston from preaching.

When Boston went home, he was “very sorrowful” but “looking upward,” he saw “the emptiness of all things besides Christ, or without Him. The Lord was pleased to lay bands on my unstable heart… and He let me see my need of Christ.”

Soon after, Boston preached again and “was pressed with a sense of my insufficiency for that work.” Yet, for all this the Lord did not crush Boston. He gave him a growing desire to desire to know Christ, which flowed through to his preaching as he sought “to drive people out of themselves to Christ.” Preachers must never feel that they are equal to their work, and yet Boston had to speak God’s Word.

In some ways, Boston was experiencing what Jeremiah experienced. Jeremiah’s complaint to God was that He had deceived him into proclaiming His Word (Jer. 20:7). People mocked him for his message. And yet, Jeremiah could not forsake his calling, and in fact, God’s Word was like a burning fire within Jeremiah’s heart and bones, and he could not hold it in any more (Jer. 20:9).

In 2 Timothy 4:2, Paul tells Timothy to be ready in and out of season to preach God’s Word. Do not step back from the coalface. We are to be always abounding in the work of the Lord, for our labour is not in vain (1 Cor. 15:58).

Love for Christ and Heart-monsters

Boston’s spiritual highs and lows continued. Sometimes he soared: “I found my heart in prayer much going out in love to Christ; my heart was knit to Him as the dearly beloved of my soul; which made me to express my love to Christ, not in an ordinary way, as I use to do.” Yet, other times he sank: “My heart-monsters, pride, worldly-mindedness, discontent, etc., stared me in the face, and my poor heart was overwhelmed with sorrow.”

There is nothing sweeter than the assurance of God’s love for us in Christ Jesus, and knowing His comfort, yet why is it also so difficult? The answer is found in a vision of God’s holiness and our sinfulness.

Whilst ever we are in the dark, the grubbiness of our sin remains mostly hidden and seems insignificant to us. But in the bright sunshine, our sin is painfully seen for the hideous wickedness that it is. So it is with the heart drawn near to God. The closer we draw to the radiance of God’s holiness, the more our sin is exposed. When Peter came close to Christ Jesus, his sin was exposed, and he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord (Luke 5:8).” Yet, Jesus answered Peter, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men (Luke 5:8-10).” Peter was forgiven, changed and commissioned by Christ.

The call to Simprin

By July 1699, Boston had been asked to preach at Simprin. He must have remembered the letter, recommending him as their pastor, which he had torn up. The elders showed their eagerness to call Boston, but others discouraged him from settling at Simprin, as it was so small a community that they thought that he would have limited opportunities to serve God.

Boston recalls that Simprin’s population at the time was eighty-eight adults. He said, “some think me happy because I have so few people, and these not unruly; some think otherwise, because of the meanness of the post and stipend.” Part of his stipend was to be paid in grain.

For Boston, knowing God’s call was necessary for standing against the discouragements that would surely come. Additionally, he reasoned, how would he be a benefit to the people of Simprin if God had not called him? How too, would he answer God? Yet, Boston saw God’s hand providentially leading him to accept the call to Simprin, and he rested his heart: “My soul is well satisfied.”

In September 1699 Boston was ordained, with the sermon preached at his ordination being on Acts 20:24, “But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” He knew that God had given that verse especially for him. He received the right hand of fellowship from the ministers and elders who were there, but he noted that no heritor was present.

– Graham Barnes