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1 Peter Studies (7)                                                                                       1 Peter 3:1-7

Husbands and Wives                                                                                  

After addressing the slaves (2:18-25), Peter now turns to the Christian wives of unsaved husbands (vv.1-6) and then to Christian husbands (v.7). He does not address any unsaved people about how they should live. For them the first command is: ‘Repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.’

Verse 1 Christian wives should submit themselves to their husbands without a word (NIV: ‘without talk’). If the husband had not believed the gospel (literally: disobeyed the Word) when it was presented to him, then he should be won over by the wife’s godly behaviour. The conduct of the believing wife, including her whole manner of life, should testify to God’s character and goodness. Both Peter and Paul taught that incompatibility of religion (upon one partner becoming a Christian) does not justify dissolution of the marriage (1 Corinthians 7:14-16). Single Christians should avoid becoming ‘unequally yoked’ in marriage with an unsaved person.

Verse 2 The verb ‘see’ (NIV) is stronger in the Greek. It means ‘to see intently, to observe closely.’ Christians are being watched attentively, often maliciously, so they can be accused of wrongdoing or hypocrisy. The unsaved should see holiness and reverence in Christians.

Verse 3 Peter first tells the wives that their beauty should not come from outward adornment. The word ‘adornment’ (cosmos) refers to an ordered system, as opposed to ‘chaos’ (see Genesis 1:1). God created order out of chaos, meaning, ‘a rude unformed mass.’ So a woman’s adornment should be that which is fitting, congruous, not at variance with her character. Her adornment should not be that of a worldly person, but what befits her as a Christian.

First, Peter speaks about the plaiting of hair. The word refers to an elaborate gathering of the hair into knots. The Roman women of that day were addicted to ridiculous extravagance in the adornment of their hair. The Latin poet Juvenal stated:

That’s sought first, then her inferiors in age and skill will give their views, as if their mistress’s reputation were at stake, as if life itself were at stake: with so much anxiety, is beauty sought. Her head is weighed down with layer on layer, tier after tier, piled high: it’s an Andromache [the name means ‘fighter of man’] you’ll see from the front, from behind someone altogether shorter. [Satire VI]

Clement of Alexandria, the early Christian writer, comments on this same thing when he says that women do not even touch their own heads for fear of disturbing their hair, and sleep comes to them with terror lest they should unawares spoil their coiffures. In 1 Timothy 2:9 Paul has the same concern: “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes…”

What is here forbidden is a conspicuous, extravagant, intricate artificiality in the manner of wearing the hair. A woman must not think that adopting a conspicuous style of coiffure will give her better access to someone she wishes to lead to the Lord. It will only distract. When a Christian woman’s appearance appeals to and gratifies the depraved nature of the unsaved person whom she is seeking to win for the Lord, she is feeding that appetite for sin instead of appealing to that person’s conscience. She is confronting that person with the world, not with the Saviour. God seeks to glorify himself in the personality and conduct of the Christian. He made us in his own image, which is the ideal medium through which he can reveal himself. If the image is distorted by artificiality, it becomes an imperfect medium and the beauty of the Lord Jesus is hidden beneath a veneer of worldliness.

Peter next mentions jewellery. It is not an absolute prohibition of wearing gold: the word translated as ‘wearing’ literally means ‘putting around’ or ‘being covered’ with gold. In other words, just as the hairstyles should not distract from the person, neither should jewellery or clothing be so conspicuously worldly as to distract whoever is watching. When Christians copy the world’s extravagant hairstyles and clothes, they are masquerading in the garments of the world. They are playing the part of a worldly person. The world will see them as worldly people. Paul warned: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). Clothing should be modest. A bride is allowed to be “beautifully dressed for her husband” (Revelation 21:2). We should not depend on physical beauty or fashionable clothes to gain respect. The clothes should not be austere or drab, but neat and in good taste.

Verse 4 Peter now turns to the positive aspect of this subject. A wife’s adornment should proceed from her inner spiritual being, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Jesus’ only self-description, as far as his character was concerned, was, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). Both men and women could take Jesus as an example to follow. The Greek verb for ‘put on’ (in Colossians 3:10, 14) means, more precisely, ‘to clothe oneself.’ We are to “put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator” and “over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Verses 5-6 Another adornment of the Christian woman is submission to her husband. Of course, this only applies to legitimate activities. A husband should never command his wife to sin; if an unbelieving husband does so, the wife should resist. Peter mentions the ‘holy women of the past who put their hope in God,’ and proceeds to cite Sarah as an example! Sarai (as she then was) took the initiative to arrange for a kind of surrogacy birth to give Abram a son. This was quite an accepted practice in the Ancient Near East, as exemplified in Jacob’s family. Abram went along with that. In Genesis 21:12 God tells Abraham, “Listen to whatever Sarah tells you.” So he sends Hagar and Ishmael off to the desert, after the surrogacy project brings conflict. These accounts give a different flavour to what Peter has been saying about the submission of holy women! Sarah called Abraham ‘kurios’ variously translated as ‘master’ or ‘lord.’

The word ‘kurios’ was used as a title of the Roman emperors and carried the implication of divinity that was ascribed to them. It is used for the name ‘Lord’ when applied to the Lord Jesus. The Philippian jailer used it in the plural to Paul and his companions (“Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”). It is also used in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters.” The term was used as a title of honour by subordinates as well as for near relatives. In 2 John 1 it is used in its feminine form, “to the chosen lady.” Peter used it in the context of obedience, so the NIV translation, ‘master,’ is probably apt, indicating the husband’s authority over her. As long as the believing wives are doing good, they ought not to be afraid.

Verse 7 is introduced by ‘likewise’ or ‘in the same way,’ addressed to the husbands. They are to ‘live with’ or ‘dwell’ with their wives. The verb refers to domestic association. No living apart! There might be times when the husband and wife cannot be together, but that should not be the norm. The husband is to be considerate and respectful. The word for ‘respect’ is the same as used in 1:19 for ‘precious’ and in other places ‘honour.’ A husband should have a special place of honour in his heart for his wife. He should treat her with special deference, courtesy, respect, and kindness.

The ‘weaker partner’ is literally the ‘weaker vessel,’ a word referring, for example, to a vessel used in the temple (Mark 11:16), also to household vessels. The word comes to refer to an instrument whereby something is accomplished. Paul is called ‘a chosen vessel’ (NIV: ‘my chosen instrument’) to bring Christ’s “name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel” (Acts 9:15). The wife is weaker, not morally, spiritually, or intellectually, but physically. In the pagan society of Peter’s day, womanhood was not esteemed, so Peter needs to emphasize the advice for husbands to honour their wives as co-heirs of the gracious gift of life, so that their prayers may not be hindered.

Questions:

Changes in fashion tend to reflect changes in the spiritual condition of society. At the same time there is no fixed style of Christian dress (the Mennonites come close). How should Christians respond to the changing fashion scene?

How do you think Peter would respond to the confusion about sex and gender in the contemporary West? Why are people so confused about this topic?     

– Alida Sewell