AP

 The Heart of a Father

Kevin was born in East London, England on the 17th of October 1974. Sadly, when he was about 11 years of age his parents divorced. This left him with ongoing feelings of uncertainty and some anxiety. During this time, he was grateful for the attention and encouragement he received from his grandparents. There was a special attachment to his grandmother who regularly took him to church from when he was about seven years of age to his early teens. Kevin’s mother was also a rock through his childhood and did her best to raise Kevin and his sister and give them as much love and care as she could.

However, the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety plagued his behaviour into his late teens and early adulthood. Kevin had many fights at school and was caught by the police shoplifting. He pursued a permissive lifestyle, fueled by ongoing excessive alcohol consumption, and encouraged by friends of a similar ilk.

During these tumultuous times, often in a drunken stupor, he asked his long-term female companion if she would marry him. Looking back, Kevin was grateful that she always declined his offer.

In August 1997 Kevin had a bike accident, where he came off his bike and hit a concrete post. This split his head into two but by the grace of God there was nurse walking her dog at the time, and she arranged medical attention for Kevin. Back then, helmets were not compulsory. The accident caused brain damage, loss of hearing in one ear, broken bones and about six months in the hospital, three of which were in ICU on a life support machine. His parents and then girlfriend stood by his side as the medical professionals were unable to confirm any long-term prognosis, let alone his chances of being able to breathe for himself without the aid of the machines surrounding him. He also contracted meningitis twice. The consequences were seven months in two hospitals followed by rehab, which gave Kevin a different perspective of life and meaning, purpose and a drive with him that has never diminished.

Late in 1998, while visiting a club in East London and slightly intoxicated, he met for the first time a lovely young lady from Australia. During the course of the evening, he managed to obtain her phone number and get her to put this on his phone, but she forgot to put in her name. The next day he tried the ‘unnamed’ phone number on his phone, and they were then connected.

Julia, the young lady from Australia, was a strong Christian and as a part of their early friendship they attended church regularly. Kevin was intrigued to find out as much about Julia as fast as he could. During a sermon, Kevin heard that he needed to have a complete change of heart and to confess his sin and repent of his old lifestyle. Right there and then, he committed his life to the Lord and became a follower of Jesus.

Kevin and Julia were married in 2001, and they moved into a new unit. Life is a mixture of experiences. In 2003 Kevin’s grandad was stricken with cancer, and placed in palliative care, dying a week before the arrival of James, Kevin and Julia’s first child. It was soon evident that their baby had Global Development Delay, which is a lifelong debilitating condition. Then Kevin’s father died that same year.

In 2004 Kevin, Julia and baby James came to Australia to visit Julia’s family and enjoy a holiday. This finally led to their emigration down under in 2005.

Two years later in 2007 a baby brother to James was born, and he was named Ben. The family were advised that Ben could have a 5% possibility of having the same condition as James. However, Ben’s condition was a little different but still needed special attention.

During this time Kevin was being treated for depression and was still on medication. This created struggles in life and a massive learning curve.

The pressures of working and the growing need to be accessible for the kids, caused Kevin to stop and consider a typical Monday to Friday career in IT services. James was now in need of a wheelchair and other therapy, and Ben also needed extra attention.

While Julia has been able to enjoy continuous employment, Kevin has not been able to secure employment since 2024, despite some 30+ interviews for various positions. Some interviews went to the second and third round but still no employment resulted. This has made live very difficult and has caused Kevin and Julia to contemplate what the Lord was doing.

Whilst there are still many questions unanswered, and the future still being uncertain, Kevin’s faith has allowed him to write the message below as a celebration on Ben’s 18th birthday.

“Happy birthday to my youngest son Ben who turns 18 today. I have enjoyed the last 11 months off work to take time to bond with you and watch you grow into a man. There’s been ups and downs on both sides of the fence. Coping with perfect strangers looking at you with delight sometimes and others with fear and anxiety because of your special needs. I wish the world would view you the way I do. Keep giving, keep smiling and don’t forget to be that ray of sunshine that lights up a little part of the world. From a loving dad to his inspirational young man”.

Some late news: a job has been offered to Kevin.

– Graham McDonald