Review of Peter Barnes, Pain of a Particular Kind, Edinburgh: Banner of Truth, 2024

This book will prove very helpful in providing comfort to people who may have to face or have experienced the loss of a loved one – especially a child. The book addresses the many issues of grief experienced when one loses someone close.

I recently lost 5-month-old Sophie, who was born to my nephew and his wife, but who passed away in her sleep. The shock of the announcement left us all numb and almost unable to think. This book proved a helpful guide.

The writer looks at the characters in the Bible who lost loved ones in their youth. (e.g. Job, David …). He considers their grief at times of loss and how they were comforted. He points us to Christ, our great hope, who has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. The writer also points us to our Heavenly Father who controls all things, even our pain and suffering.

 Some practical tips I found useful were

• Come alongside those who grieve and do not withdraw.
• Listen to those who grieve and do not worry about the silence.
• Being present is what matters.
• Sharing tears is balm.
• Using the name of the lost loved one is also a source of comfort.

The book helps Christians to see that even for us, grief is real. It is not to be trivialised or glossed over with a charade of happy faces. But a Christian’s grief is not without hope.

A beautiful quote from Elizabeth Elliot is most helpful: “Grief never ends… but it changes. It is a passage and not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith. It is a price of love”.

The book concludes with pointing us to Jesus Christ who knew death itself, but what hope and assurance He provides in His resurrection. I look forward to that day when there will be no more tears and no more death.

I heartily commend this book to those grieving and to those who want to come alongside someone experiencing grief.

– Sarah Athavle