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The prophet Jeremiah was inspired by God to write: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it” (Jer. 17:9). While it is widely applicable for many things, it functions as a particularly pertinent warning to those who would serve Christ. Even discerning one’s own motives can be a notoriously difficult thing to do. And in this regard, the words of the apostle Paul are especially apt:

It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of good will. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defence of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice (Phil 1:15-18).

There is obviously more to Paul’s words here than simply exploring what motivates a person in Christian ministry. But it does help us to recognise that the Lord can even use bad motives to achieve good outcomes. In fact, in His sovereign providence, He can even make use of impure motives to grow His kingdom.

Do I Love to be First?

The New Testament has much to say about the sin of pride, especially when it comes to pastoral ministry. For instance, the apostle John writes in his third epistle:

I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church (3 John 9-10).

It is difficult to fully grasp how toxic this particular individual was. Diotrephes is said to guilty of “gossiping maliciously” about the apostles, refusing to welcome them into the congregation and even wrongly ex-communicating others from the church. But at the heart of the problem is his own heart. John says he “loves to be first”.

This is sadly one of the defining characteristics of all abusive church leadership. As Ezekiel prophesied against the false shepherds of Israel, rather than feeding the sheep, false shepherds view the flock as food to be consumed (i.e. Ezek. 34:1-16). Tragically, the Lord’s people become a means to a selfish end. And the goal in this sinful scenario is one’s own reputation, influence and even lust.

The Sinful Desire to be the ‘Greatest’

It is both sobering—and also strangely comforting—to observe that the disciples who first followed Jesus also struggled with this exact type of temptation. For example, in Matthew 18:1-4 and Mark 9:33-37 there is a heated discussion amongst the twelve as to who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Just the fact that they were concerned with—let alone arguing amongst themselves—such a question is significant. But on both occasions, the Lord Jesus Christ points them to the humblest, most dependent person in society of all. He challenges them to become like a little child – someone with no status, influence, knowledge or wealth. For a child is the epitome of what it means to be meek. And hence, what it also means to be ‘great’ in the kingdom of heaven.

But the desire to be the ‘greatest’ never completely goes away. Later on in the Gospels we read how the mother of James and John approached Jesus with a request for both of her sons to be granted the honour of sitting at His right and left (Matt. 20:20-29). One account even tells us that James and John even demanded this honour from Jesus! (Mark 10:35-45).

With infinite kindness and gentleness, Jesus tells them that they really don’t know what they’re asking Him for. Because the path to greatness in the kingdom of heaven comes through the path of suffering. Christian leadership is fundamentally different to that of the Gentiles. As Jesus memorably says:

You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:42-45).

The Model of Table-Service

Another pertinent passage in this regard is found in the gospel of Luke. Once again, the context is an argument amongst the disciples as to who “was considered to be the greatest”. Jesus’ words in response are:

The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at table? But I am among you as one who serves (Luke 22:25-27).

There is obviously greater honour in being a chef then there is in being a waiter. For those of us who are pastor-teachers it can start to feel like we are the one’s deserving the credit since we prepare the spiritual food to God’s people each week. But the reality is, we ourselves are more like waiters than chefs. For the food we serve is only that which the Lord Himself has first provided in His Word. Thus, our best and most appropriate response—after having done everything we were told to do—should be what Jesus commands we should say: “We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty” (Luke 17:10).

The Demonic Deception of Selfish Ambition

One of the most helpful—but also neglected—passages of the Bible on this whole subject is found in James 3. The passage can be neatly divided into two parts, dealing with wisdom which is from below and is of the Devil, and the wisdom which is from above and is of the Holy Spirit. James introduces the topic as follows:

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility which comes wisdom (James 3:13).

Central to being a wise and understanding person is humility. This is consistent with the wisdom literature of the Old Testament which talks about the fear of the LORD being the beginning of wisdom (Prov. 9:10; Job 28:28). But there is a problem in that it is possible to be self-deceived. We can think that we’re acting in a spiritually godly way when we are actually being inspired by the Devil. As James goes on to write:

But if you harbour envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice (James 3:14-16).

What makes this such a sobering passage is that it is possible to be deceived by Satan in such a way that you think that your motivation for ministry is out of zeal for God when the reality is that it is all about yourself. That is why the fruit of such ‘wisdom’ is manifested in “disorder and every evil practice”. Contrast this with what James goes on to describe:

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness (James 3:17-18).

“Preach the gospel. Die, and be forgotten.”

The Moravian Bishop, Count Zinzendorf, was famously once said: “Preach the gospel. Die, and be forgotten.” It is a great truth of which those in public ministry need to be consistently reminded. As someone posted on social media recently regarding the critique of one particularly well-known ministry:

If you’re a pastor and you’re aiming for some sort of mega platform, then you’ve lost the message. Pride, conferences, book deals, likes, etc. are killing us. Our moral failures speak louder than our “perfect theology.” Fighting for the truth matters, but before you start tossing stones, make sure your own house isn’t made of glass. Take yourself less seriously, have fun, serve Christ, and move on.

– Mark Powell